Widow Stories

Dear Minister Mary,

I am 45 year old from Cape Town in South Africa.

I got to learn of your ministry after I googled for support groups for the Widows.

My husband was tragically killed in a car accident on the night 15th May 2015. He was on his way home and after 3 hours and he has not come home. I called his mobile and it was answered by the police. They were polite and professional and asked for our home address. There I was thinking OMG, my husband has been arrested for drunken driving. I waited for about 10mins and they were at my place. I met up with them by the gate. There were four of them and they insisted we go inside the house. I tried to read their faces for any clues but all of them were just blank. When we got into the house, they requested I take a sit. I knew there and there, that something serious has happened. I ran upstairs to get my 19 year old daughter to come and listen with me. They then make the verifications again, whether do we know xxx, and who are we to him? Then one of related how xxx was involved in a car accident. My relief when I learnt that at least he was involved in a car accident. I then asked where and they told me and I asked which hospital was he taken to? There was awkward silence for a while and he softly said “sorry Mam, but he did not make it”

There was total darkness for a while and ended up on the floor. When I came to and realized what I have just been told and remember how loud I screamed and I’m the whole neighbourhood was awaken. xxx was 45 years old, healthy, full of life, so vibrant and still had so many plans for the future. It’s two months, but it still feels like it was yesterday. I miss him so much...

We were married for 20 years in September- we were actually planning for our anniversary celebration.

We have two beautiful daughters, xxx 19 years, 2nd University student and xxx 18 years old, a 1st year University student. actually turned 18 years old on the day her Dad was buried- 23rd May 2015.

xxx would have turned 46 years old on the 29th May.

You see, we had so many celebrations and milestones lined up and he didn’t live to see them all.

xxx and I had such an amazing life, we loved each other and called each Kgotsi- meaning my friend. We were together for 30 years. He was my King, my Hero and my everything in between. He treated me like a Queen and I felt like a Queen. He adored me and my girls.

My girls seem to be coping--I was worried as they were Daddy’s little girls.

I’m back at work after 6 weeks being at home going through my grief and trying to make sense of my situation. I praise God for my colleagues, I’m surrounded by love, support and understanding.

I pray for strength, wisdom and courage to raise the kids and to keep the fires burning at home. I hope to make Andrew happy and proud someday, on how I tried to survive without him.

Thank you for “listening” this was therapeutic for me- when I keep telling my story.

Kind regards,
xxxxx